Instead of lines, I like curves

I hate lines, whether it is a deadline, or a tagline… I’m more inclined towards curves. If the curve is pointing upward, and indicating my blog stats; I ask myself – OH REALLY?

This is the point when I have to tell myself… stop dreaming and start concentrating –  ON YOUR BLOG. Looking at the nonexistent lines at my blog stats, I feel ridiculous. Readers feel the same about my blog posts.

Seriously guys, this is some kind of a conspiracy, to confine this prolific blogger into anonymity (I’m talking about myself). When asked, what do I do? I tell people I’m a blogger. Because this is a productive way of saying, “I’m a writer.”  When I have nothing to write, I blog. Yet no one reads it (putting a sad smiley is uncool, so, IMAGINE it). I think I shall protest against it, and demand my writes.

Whatever the standards of success are, I don’t meet any of them. Someone told me a straight line to success – work hard. I said I can manage without success, but ‘work’ and ‘hard’ are things I am not familiar with.

Speaking of ‘work’, there is another ‘line’ that I hate – outline. Outlines during a task don’t let me stay sane. Therefore, just to avoid tension associated with an outline, I opt for the first three letters, and stay OUT of the task.

However, there is one kind of a line that I totally love – punch line. Unfortunately this blog post does not have one.

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If I can dream it, I can do it

Dreams are good, and that’s what I do all day long.

Like, I dream to have an arrangement where I don’t have to work. NO WORK, AT ALL. And yet earn loads of money. And then I dream of my dream coming true. This dreaming and re-dreaming kind of keeps me busy. That hardly leaves me any time to actually DO SOMETHING.

Of course, if I have to dream anyway… why shall I not dream big? Then there are some people who tell me, ” If you have to get started, you need to stop talking, and start doing.”

And I tell them; I’m not talking – to them.

Do you know Bill Gates? Yeah, that WINDOWS guy. I even proved him wrong. Gates says, “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”

My boss was quite fond of that quote, and that was why he assigned EVERY task to me. I DID find a very easy way to do it… I DID NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL. And hence he assigned the task to someone else.

See, not only have I failed, I have also found thousand ways that won’t work.

P.S: I’m not sure if it was relevant, but this was In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Show Must Go On.”

Greatest blog post, ever

Editors at the New York Times, and Washington Post!

Haven’t you known yet; there is a terrific (don’t read terrible) opinion-piece-writer sulking around in Pakistan. Off course I’m talking about myself. I’ve been blogging since a year – yeah I know 17 posts in 365 days is way too infrequent – but still, you should have noticed the potential in me. NO?

You guys must know how difficult it is in Pakistan to avoid suicide bombers lurking around in the dark corners and still BLOG, and LAUGH (man! this is not insensitivity, this is bravery).

If pity doesn’t work, we are kind of used to getting our way through threats – so if editors at the New York Times and Washing Post don’t agree on commissioning me a blogging assignment – I’m going to read ALL my 17 blog posts to my two months old.

And this is serious. OKAY.

A fuse title, and confuse tagline

The most read blog in universe – this is what I wanted my blog’s tagline to be.

But then an unfortunate thing struck me. They call it reality check.

When I was looking for a name for my blog, I wasn’t sure why on earth do I need to blog. I kept on asking myself, do I need to blog at all? And a voice inside me always answered, “Sure, that’s the only way to get rich and famous.”

And hence, I wanted something sophisticated as blog’s title and tagline. That voice inside me spoke again, “Who’re you kidding – and make sure to put an apostrophe between who and re.” Continue reading

I dream, so I blog

I’m a news clerk in Pakistan, but for the sake of self-respect (mine), I call myself a journalist. Being less of a doer, and more of a dreamer, I fantasize about making it big one day.

So, what’s my definition of “making it big one day?”

Answer: I seriously don’t know. Maybe something which rids me of the necessity to go to office everyday. I uncertainly believe, that writers (whether they write books or opinions) work from the comfort of their homes, and make huge sums of money. So I decided to be a writer, and hence came up with this blog.

And then came the hardest part – writing. Continue reading