Phobia: Visiting The Daily Post

Do you know I visit The Daily Post everyday?

YES. EVERY – DAY. Which means DAILY.

And what do I do there. I look at the daily prompt and tell myself, “Aw! That’s too complicated for me.”

Why do you guys give complicated daily prompts? Eh? And then you expect me not to hate you?

Well, hate is a strong word, and I hate to use strong words; but alternatives like ‘loathe’ are even more strong. See, how complicated my life is. Can’t even use an alternative of hate, totally, completely, absolutely ABHOR it.

And now look at the recent prompt – “Phobia, Shmobia.”

Is this even a word? If, by any means, Shmobia means an evolving fear of visiting The Daily Post, I’m feeling it developing inside me.

Guys, you’re going to kill the great writer in me (only a great writer can write 49 blog posts in almost three years – last one dating back to April this year, in which he had vowed to stop dreaming, and start writing)

Stop dreaming, and start writing

STOP DREAMING AND START WRITING

No one, I mean NOT A SINGLE person has ever given me this powerful suggestion.

Well, I do get to hear the first part of it; a lot of people suggest I should STOP DREAMING. Most of them are my superiors at work. They wake me up during office hours and shout – the two words sentence – STOP DREAMING.

However, I have not stopped.

It all starts with three magic words – One day I’ll – and the dream begins. In most of my dreams I’m a terrific, and renowned, and accomplished BLOGGER. I so love it when I write ACCOMPLISHED. Then this sad thing kicks in, the thing we don’t like, but can’t ignore either. REALITY.

The be the kind of blogger I dream of, I need to, actually, BLOG.

I mean – approximately twenty blog posts in one year, three among them about dreaming – does not qualify as blogging. Does it?

So, someone must suggest me to WRITE. And must also tell me how to do it.

Instead of lines, I like curves

I hate lines, whether it is a deadline, or a tagline… I’m more inclined towards curves. If the curve is pointing upward, and indicating my blog stats; I ask myself – OH REALLY?

This is the point when I have to tell myself… stop dreaming and start concentrating –  ON YOUR BLOG. Looking at the nonexistent lines at my blog stats, I feel ridiculous. Readers feel the same about my blog posts.

Seriously guys, this is some kind of a conspiracy, to confine this prolific blogger into anonymity (I’m talking about myself). When asked, what do I do? I tell people I’m a blogger. Because this is a productive way of saying, “I’m a writer.”  When I have nothing to write, I blog. Yet no one reads it (putting a sad smiley is uncool, so, IMAGINE it). I think I shall protest against it, and demand my writes.

Whatever the standards of success are, I don’t meet any of them. Someone told me a straight line to success – work hard. I said I can manage without success, but ‘work’ and ‘hard’ are things I am not familiar with.

Speaking of ‘work’, there is another ‘line’ that I hate – outline. Outlines during a task don’t let me stay sane. Therefore, just to avoid tension associated with an outline, I opt for the first three letters, and stay OUT of the task.

However, there is one kind of a line that I totally love – punch line. Unfortunately this blog post does not have one.

A fuse title, and confuse tagline

The most read blog in universe – this is what I wanted my blog’s tagline to be.

But then an unfortunate thing struck me. They call it reality check.

When I was looking for a name for my blog, I wasn’t sure why on earth do I need to blog. I kept on asking myself, do I need to blog at all? And a voice inside me always answered, “Sure, that’s the only way to get rich and famous.”

And hence, I wanted something sophisticated as blog’s title and tagline. That voice inside me spoke again, “Who’re you kidding – and make sure to put an apostrophe between who and re.” Continue reading

I dream, so I blog

I’m a news clerk in Pakistan, but for the sake of self-respect (mine), I call myself a journalist. Being less of a doer, and more of a dreamer, I fantasize about making it big one day.

So, what’s my definition of “making it big one day?”

Answer: I seriously don’t know. Maybe something which rids me of the necessity to go to office everyday. I uncertainly believe, that writers (whether they write books or opinions) work from the comfort of their homes, and make huge sums of money. So I decided to be a writer, and hence came up with this blog.

And then came the hardest part – writing. Continue reading